What does one say on the day their son turns 21?!?!?
Considering the fact that I have been thinking of writing this post for well over a month now and have just finally decided to sit down at 9:45 on the night before the big day…it’s pretty obvious that I have absolutely NO IDEA.
As a matter of fact, it’s quite apparent that for once in my life I am at a loss for words and have been staring at this keyboard for hours. So many thoughts and ideas keep running through my mind and just as quickly as I go to type them there is another idea and so I am completely paralyzed with so much to say and yet the complete inability to say it.
Do you talk about life before your baby was born which somehow now seems like forever ago? Do you talk about that moment at his birth that your life was completely changed forever because you finally became aware of the true meaning of unconditional love or do you simply stop and reflect on the journey. You know the journey…the journey that at times seemed almost impossible and something that you were completely unprepared or unequipped to handle and yet in reflection seems like the one role that you were ever meant to play. Even though the journey was full of ups and downs you wouldn’t change a single second of it. And as cliché as it sounds, “it all just went by too quickly”…”it seems like only yesterday”.
I must admit that it’s a paradox that somehow I can remember most every detail of my son’s “FIRST” in life and yet most days I have a hard time remembering anything without a list of reminders.
Chandler’s first word was BALL. I was fascinated by his first word and have been fascinated by all of his words ever since that one. Your children have a way of fascinating you with everything they do. Most of us believe that our child is a prodigy of some sort or certainly the most beautiful baby ever born, but here’s what I know for sure after 21 years… Chandler is a gift to both Mike and I. He was put on loan to us by God to do our very best to guide him to serve a purpose on this earth and somehow make a difference.
He was not only the first, but also the only and therefore that made him the guinea pig by default. Trust me…there were lots of trial and error, but even on the errors I gave it my A+ effort. I’m not sure why God choose us to share this perfect gift with, but I know for certain that he made the perfect match. Even though it was never perfect, each and every decision that was made was rooted in doing what was in the best interest of him!! The 21 year journey has been filled with joy and satisfaction that our efforts, that at times were drenched in doubt, were an overwhelming success! Year 21 might be the true end of adolescence, but it is the beginning of manhood, and I gotta admit that my eyes see man, but make no mistake about it my heart will forever see my baby.
Our man, Chandler, has now spread his wings…he has not only moved out of this house, but he has moved out of this state and is tirelessly working to forge his own path in life. He has his own dreams to chase and journey to follow. I wouldn’t be honest if I didn’t acknowledge that my tendency is to be a HELICOPTOR mom, but I fight the urge and sit back and admire the young man that he has become. He isn’t perfect and his life won’t be without flaws, but in the end, isn’t that the only way that any of us really learn life lessons and continue to grow?
As the reflection allows us to relive many memories, in the end, I can honestly say that this one is a momma’s boy and his daddy’s pride and joy, and the nest is now EMPTY, but the bond can never ever be broken. We embrace and can not wait to continue our guidance and share with him adulthood experiences, and today we wish him nothing more than the happiest day of the past 21 years! Thank You, son, for making us proud by simply being you!!
Now that I truly recognize that my nest is REALLY, REALLY empty, I fully understand my desire for a new journey, which may just be the real answer to why I’ve decided that it is time to add an old chicken coop down here on the farm.
OH and let it be noted that I did not take the pictures below, but you can’t have a birthday post without a picture and you can’t take a picture when you live 18 hours away. I’m thinking I may amuse myself and print these off for my own personal game of “Where’s Waldo/Chandler”…maybe there’ll be a blog post to follow.
ENJOY!!!
